I Forgot and I’m Sorry
Posted by: onebagnation on: July 1, 2008
My daughter greeted me with this note when I went to pick her up at daycare the other day. (If you have trouble deciphering kindergarten spelling, it says “You Were Late, Really Late”).
I was hit with a tidal wave of Mommy Guilt.
The worst part is, I had completely forgotten about the event scheduled that day (a singalong) and I didn’t even know I was late! What was I doing instead? Cleaning house, blogging, working, starting dinner . . . whatever it was, it wasn’t as important to my daughter – or to me – than going to the singalong.
I’ve been writing a lot about physical clutter, but I suffer from mental clutter too – mostly in the form of procrastination, coupled with trying to do too much. I have a lot of interests and many balls in the air (not a bad thing in and of itself) but I’m unrealistic about what I can accomplish in a day.
And then there’s my internet addiction.
Balancing my roles as mother, wife, daughter, friend, worker bee, entrepreneur, household manager (and person!) is very hard for me. It feels awful that I was so wrapped up in some chore or task that I forgot about my daughter’s event. Her sad little note is still here at my desk, not so much to chastise me as to remind me that living by my true priorities is the surest way to order, serenity and peace of mind.
16 Responses to "I Forgot and I’m Sorry"
July 1, 2008 at 7:24 pm
Thanks Laurieann. I’ve never done something like that before.
Your story reminds me of a time a few years ago when my daughter went up to a friend’s nanny at the park and said “Can you keep an eye on me? My Mom is busy talking.” LOL. She was only 4 at the time!
July 1, 2008 at 9:36 pm
Hi Ann,
Kids will gently nudge us in the right direction. Often it’s best to let some of those balls drop.
Mistakes do happen, so don’t beat yourself up.
July 1, 2008 at 10:43 pm
I agree with Barbara. Don’t be so hard on yourself. This has happened to every mom, including me.
July 2, 2008 at 5:50 am
Thanks Barbara & Vered. I’m over it now – and she was over it by the time we got in the car!
July 2, 2008 at 6:29 am
I guess she thought her protest should not just be communicated to you in spoken words, but written down for emphasis 
You can have several balls in the air at the same time, just prioritize, as you say.
July 2, 2008 at 6:32 am
The cool thing is that you are upset about this. I see way too many parents that don’t have the time for their kids or seem to care.
Kids need to spend time with their parents. You and I both know that.
I’m also sure that next time, you will be there for her.
July 2, 2008 at 1:05 pm
@Chase: I did feel terrible! and I’m trying to keep it in perspective, because it was very unlike me!
July 2, 2008 at 5:18 pm
Oh, that is like a knife in the heart. She’s going to be trouble when she’s older and REALLY (or relee) knows how to manipulate you.
And we’ve all done it.
July 3, 2008 at 11:57 am
One day, I was sitting at the dining room table, working diligently away at a correspondance course. I registered that the school bus had gone by and kept on reading. Somewhere my subconcious registered that the door had not opened and closed. HORRORS! I was supposed to pick the kids up to take them to get their haircut! I have never moved so fast in my life, and I likely drove just a little too fast. I roared into a basically empty school to find my three babies lined up on a bench outside the gym. OMG talk about big time Mother Guilt!!!! How could I have forgotten my babies?! 15 years later, I still get all clammy thinking about it. But you know what? Not one of the three remembers the incident. You may never forget, but you daughter will *smile*
July 7, 2008 at 5:30 am
She will forgive you someday! It happens to all of us sooner or later!
Just found your blog and love the title – I too have too many bags!
jenny
July 7, 2008 at 10:15 am
Urban Panther: good to know your kids have forgotten, even if you haven’t!
Jenny: I’m glad you came and commented!
July 8, 2008 at 9:57 am
I’m always trying to figure out how to balance it all. And declutter too. I’m addicted to organizing books. I don’t like to implement it as much as I like reading about implementing it!
And the note- that’s a smart girl. You can be happy about that.
July 8, 2008 at 12:43 pm
Dr. Cason: one of these days I’ll post my photo of an organizing book sitting amidst piles of clutter next to my bed – LOL! I usually do get one or two good tidbits from each read, though.
Thanks for the nice words about my girl; she is definitely in touch with her feelings!
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July 1, 2008 at 7:16 pm
We are suffering from the same going-back-to-work ailment. The other day at the park, one of the moms asked my son where I was. He said, “I don’t have a mom.” I’d only been back to work two days!
Just remember… sometimes even mamas make mistakes and don’t be so hard on yourself.