I Forgot and I’m Sorry July 1, 2008

My daughter greeted me with this note when I went to pick her up at daycare the other day. (If you have trouble deciphering kindergarten spelling, it says “You Were Late, Really Late”).

I was hit with a tidal wave of Mommy Guilt.

The worst part is, I had completely forgotten about the event scheduled that day (a singalong) and I didn’t even know I was late! What was I doing instead? Cleaning house, blogging, working, starting dinner . . . whatever it was, it wasn’t as important to my daughter - or to me - than going to the singalong.

I’ve been writing a lot about physical clutter, but I suffer from mental clutter too - mostly in the form of procrastination, coupled with trying to do too much. I have a lot of interests and many balls in the air (not a bad thing in and of itself) but I’m unrealistic about what I can accomplish in a day.

And then there’s my internet addiction.

Balancing my roles as mother, wife, daughter, friend, worker bee, entrepreneur, household manager (and person!) is very hard for me. It feels awful that I was so wrapped up in some chore or task that I forgot about my daughter’s event. Her sad little note is still here at my desk, not so much to chastise me as to remind me that living by my true priorities is the surest way to order, serenity and peace of mind.

More Doing, Less Posting June 30, 2008

For the last few days - since I had my “ah-ha moment” about being messy - I’ve been trying hard to keep things clean and neat around here. I’ve also been moving my home office so I’ll feel organized when I start my new job.

I’ve also been thinking a lot about my blog: what it means to me; what I really want to write about; blogging “scene” in general and where my voice fits in, etc.

And I’ve been thinking a lot about serenity - what does that look and feel like to me? How will I know when I’ve reached my destination?

This weekend was warm and sunny and I chose to spend my free time outside enjoying the weather and my family rather than writing my blog; hanging out with a chatty, active 6-year-old isn’t exactly serenity, but it does bring me lots of happiness!

I’m not Disorganized, I’m Messy! June 26, 2008

I’m looking around my house and realizing that what I see is not really clutter, or the result of being disorganized; what I see is a messy house! The kind of clutter I’m seeing is not the kind of clutter you need to purge, it’s the kind of clutter you need to put away properly.

Although it drives me nuts when the house is upside down, I realize how much I contribute to the mess without even realizing it. Here is the evidence staring me in the face:

• the dining room table is not cleaned off (remember the paycheck?); nor are the chairs pushed in
• there is one basket of clean laundry upstairs and another downstairs, needing to be put away
• my bag from a weekend away is still sitting - only partially unpacked - on my bedroom floor
• my various coats and jackets are draped over chairs or hung on doorknobs - they’re anywhere but in the closet

I have walked by all of this many, many times over the last few days, and it’s like I don’t even see it. These are the times I feel like I’m suffering from ADD. I can’t seem to focus, but end up going from one thing to another, all day long, without any real results.

So, I will get up from the computer now and clean off the table; put away the laundry; unpack and store my bag; and hang up my coats! And I’ll try hard to be more mindful of this habit of “not seeing” from now on.

Just Do It - Starting is the Hardest Part June 23, 2008

Any anti-procrastination advice worth its salt will urge you to just get started on whatever it is that you’re putting off. Everything from daily housekeeping chores - like washing the dishes - to really important and complex projects - like writing a will - can be broken down into small pieces. Start somewhere, anywhere, and you usually end up doing much more than you thought you could.

Sarah at organizedmom.net posted about this today; after a very busy day, she was feeling really tired and not at all motivated to clean house. But once she got up and started picking up, momentum carried her until she finished. Her reward was the ability to sit and fully enjoy her television show without the distraction of the messy house.

I know I often spend more time dreading a task than it would take to just do it. This is a habit and a way of thinking that I’m working hard to change. I feel sure that if I do, I will experience far more order, serenity and peace of mind.

The Basement Report: It’s Working! June 18, 2008

Yesterday I needed a gift bag and some tissue paper for the end-of-year gift for my daughter’s teacher. A few weeks ago I probably would have just bought them new, rather than face the mess in my basement.

But this time, down I went, put my hand (almost) immediately on a pretty bag, quickly found some matching tissue and we were all set. I could get used to this!

We had a wonderful last day of kindergarten morning: the gift looked lovely, I wasn’t stressed and frustrated, and I gave myself a pat on the back for the work I’ve done to create some order and serenity for myself - and for my family.

If you’re facing a decluttering and organizing job that seems so overwhelming you can’t even start, try working just a little bit at a time. I’ve done all this organizing in just five-minute bites; I aim for five minutes every day - slow but steady - and I see the results.

Give it a try - the payoff of a small amount of time is enormous!

My Paycheck is Stuck to the Dining Room Table! June 16, 2008

Yes . . . chalk it up to end-of-school-year busy-ness, Father’s Day busy-ness, whatever! But this morning, I tried to pick up my check and it was stuck to a drop of maple syrup, left from yesterday’s Father’s Day breakfast.

And I was so proud of myself for getting the laundry done, making progress on clearing out my file drawer, going for a run, doing my five-minute declutter in the basement . . . oh well, a mother’s work is never done . . . and a little maple syrup never hurt anyone.

Happy Monday!

“You Have to be Really Organized” June 11, 2008

This was said to me today in response to my description of a job I had several years ago. I was in an informal job interview, so I didn’t snort, giggle, or shriek with laughter . . . I behaved appropriately. But I’m giggling now!

Gosh, I hope they aren’t looking for someone to be “really organized” in the job I’m now considering - LOL!

Managing Paper Pile-Up, Part One: The Mail June 10, 2008

The main source of paper clutter in our house is used to be the mail. We had a giant (conference-sized) table piled high with unsorted bills, catalogs, solicitations, newspapers, flyers and magazines. A naturally organized person would never live like that . . . but it took me a long time to develop the habit - and the discipline - to stop piling and start processing.

Now when I bring the mail inside, I don’t even put it down anywhere. I walk straight to the recycling bin and get rid of the obvious junk. If there are direct mail letters that look like they need to be shredded, I put them in my “to shred” box; magazines or catalogs I want to look through go on the stairs to be taken up at bedtime, and everything else goes into my inbox, to be processed on desk day.

Sometimes I can’t believe I lived with all that paper taking up physical - and mental - space.

Clutter & All or Nothing Thinking June 8, 2008

You’ve finally decided to tackle the clutter weighing you down. You’re standing at the door of your closet, staring at the piles, and you suddenly decide: “I can’t do any of this if I can’t do all of it - right now!!” but you don’t have time to do all of it - so you give up entirely.

That’s an example of All or Nothing Thinking - and it can derail us from achieving all sorts of goals.

Many of us are (sadly) very familiar with this kind of thinking related to our food and fitness plans. One cookie, or one missed workout - and we give up - and we often fall off the wagon in a big, bad way.

“I ate one cookie and blew my diet so I might as well eat 10 more”. OR, “I didn’t get to the gym this morning so I might as well abandon my exercise program”.

Don’t let All or Nothing Thinking get in the way of creating some order for yourself! If you’re facing a big organizing job, make peace with the idea that it will take you a while to complete it. While it’s true that the mess may get worse before it gets better, if you keep at it - even in small bursts of work - you will get it done. So much better than the alternative of working like a fiend for two hours until you can’t stand it anymore, and then never going back to finish the project because it was so miserable! Or giving up completely before you’ve even started.

Clearing clutter can feel completely overwhelming; I know because I’ve been there. I used to set aside whole weekends to “get my house in order”, but it didn’t work; I just couldn’t sustain my energy or focus. I still have some piles of paper and files from my last marathon session - at least three years ago.

But now I practice what I’m preaching: I work for short periods of time (sometimes just 5 minutes) and I stop when I feel paralyzed and can’t make good decisions anymore. Slowly but surely I’m clearing out the clutter and gaining order, serenity and peace of mind.

The Basement Report: Still Sorting! June 7, 2008

Yesterday I spent 15 minutes down in the holiday room, chipping away at my great basement organizing project. I piled up all the ribbon and tissue paper and took inventory.

One of the best tips I got from Laura Leist’s book Eliminate Chaos is to sort and purge your stuff before buying any storage containers. Shopping is #8 of her ten steps to getting organized! All those fun stores like IKEA, Storables and The Container Store seduce us with bins, boxes and baskets of every shape, size and color, but you really shouldn’t buy any of that stuff until you know what you need to store.

I’m definitely in favor of investing in storage containers that you like to look at and do the job, but for now, my sorting continues. When I have everything organized in piles or temporary boxes, I’ll decide if I need to purchase anything to store it in.

I’m so looking forward to walking into that room and being able to put my hand on exactly what I need!