Why Does Clutter Make Us Feel Bad?
Posted April 22, 2008on:
On the face of it, the clutter itself is what bothers us.
My mother – who practices Al-Anon style detachment – lives surrounded by piles of what most people would consider trash. She clears a place to eat, sit and read, watch TV, pay her bills, etc. and somehow manages to block out the physical chaos around her.
I find it essential to practice detachment in certain relationships, but I’m not willing to detach from my surroundings.
A lot of my clutter represents indecision, and I often feel that some of my piles and messes are a visual representation of what goes on in my ADD-esque brain (I say “ADD-esque” because I’ve never been diagnosed and I don’t want to trivialize ADD for those who have).
So what does the clutter represent for me? A fear that I’ll turn into my mother? A reminder of how indecisive I am? A reluctance to part with things that make me feel safe? Evidence that I’m a terrible wife, mother, housekeeper?? I honestly don’t know, but I can’t stand the anxiety the clutter provokes, so my quest to conquer it continues.
I probably need psychotherapy, but I’ll just keep blogging instead . . .