Posted September 12, 2008on:
I posted this yesterday on my other blog, Vintage Mommy.
I imagine that most of us can remember exactly where we were and what we were doing when we heard the terrible news.
It’s all still so vivid to me; my husband and I were visiting the east coast for a 10th wedding anniversary party at my Mom’s house, and we were anticipating the birth of our daughter, who was due at the end of September. We were sitting in a little cafe on a beautiful sunny morning having breakfast when we began to hear reports of what was happening.
I must have already been feeling very vulnerable (an impending adoption will do that to you) because I immediately burst into tears – and at that point we had no idea how terrible it really was.
The next few days were tough, as we waited to hear when and if we could fly home, keeping in touch with our birthparents and trying to reassure them that we would indeed get there in time for the birth – and listening in horror as the whole story unfolded.
We finally went to the airport, hoping to get a flight out on Friday, September 14. The night before the flight was so scary; I stood in the shower and sobbed – fear, sadness, anger, grief, shock, more sadness and more fear . . . it was all coming at me.
My husband and I had to separate at the airport. He had been traveling on business so we were on different airlines and we had to figure out how to get home separately. I’ll never forget saying goodbye to him; I’m still queasy and tearful at the memory.
By incredible luck (and the magic of cell phones) he was able to get on my flight at the very last moment. When I spotted him coming down the aisle of the plane, I was completely overwhelmed. A very, very kind woman sitting next to me listened to my whole story – which of course paled in comparison to the pain and unbearable grief others were experiencing that day and for many days to come.
Tonight I’ll light some candles in the windows – as I did seven years ago – to remind me of all I have to be grateful for (starting with that little girl) and in solidarity with those who are still grieving.